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I sincerely wish that none of you have fallen back into the trappings of a completely unconditioned mind and therefore leaving the 9 Principles of Personal Power event behind you. Resuming the unconscious habits, previously conditioned in us by a sleeping world for so many, is truly the more painful choice.

(Goodness I sound so serious, what’s gotten in to me? Ok it’s over now)

So with all that mumbo jumbo, I offer you this brief note as a gentle yet firm reminder to that what you are experiencing currently in your reality is the result of what you created previously.

“Your future is now, created through the decisions you are making in this moment”

And although this concept goes even deeper (that’s another workshop - Retreat to Spirit ) the best way to apply this to your current reality is to remind yourself as often as possible “ I can choose to feel anything I would like in this moment, I choose peace/love etc “.

You will have moments that you may be choosing crap, because something crappy just happened, the goal is to start catching yourself reacting to the crap. The sooner you move forward away from the crappy thoughts and stop reacting to the crappy thing that “just happened” and choose something wonderful to think about instead the faster you begin experiencing and therefore creating a more resourceful and pleasant life.

It takes a little practice but it gets easier and easier I absolutely promise you that.

Here’s a few more tips to help you on your way to a happier, healthier more fulfilling life…

1. Resist hanging out with people that bring you down. Yes I realize this can be very challenging at times, get over that and just focus on associating with people that make you feel good.  When you find yourself in a situation with people that may be “negative”, you know spreading fear or being a victim, just be aware of that, and instead of getting sucked into their drama, just focus on compassion and send them some love.  You’ll feel good instantly and you might notice that they change directions.

 

2. Commit to apply one principle per week for the next 18 weeks. It will take you ten minutes to set it up in your calendar and put a daily reminder that for that day you will be allowing yourself to become aware of the principles in action.  Feel free to take some notes as well and notice how you start to change your life and with very little effort.

 

3. Set a daily intention when you wake up each morning. I like to start with a smile.  I just lay there and when I discover I’m awake I say to myself “smile Jackey…that’s right big smile, what a great day you get to have, make it count”  You can also add “Today is _______, and I will remind myself of my decision throughout the day”

 

It takes a little bit of purposeful effort and action to get yourself pointed in the direction you’d like to be going.

Keep in touch with us, keep in touch with the new friends you made and before you know it the things that you find so difficult to manage these days will be a thing of the past forever.

Go forth my darlings with a spring in your step,

Joy in your heart

and a smile on your face

Much Love Jackey

P.s. Have you seen the new “Retreat to Spirit” web page? It’s a new easy to use format and you can check out the  photo gallery, listen to what people are saying about the event, see how many days till the event, get more info, register for the event, like  it on Facebook ( we appreciate it!)  and stay up to date. –>> Visit Retreat to Spirit Now…

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It would be pretty darn cool to be able to tell when people aren’t being completely honest wouldn’t you agree?

The first time I heard of Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP), was during an intensive Trainer Training I attended many years ago.

Tucked away on one of the pages in the workbook was the heading “NLP” with drawings of six sets of eyes underneath.

“You mean to tell me”

Turning and looking up to the instructor I continued…

“ that just by watching the eye movements of the person I’m talking to I can tell if they’re lying?”

“Yeah, more or less” he responded.

I was so intrigued with what I learned that day about NLP that I made the decision right then that one day I would attend an NLP Training Course and learn NLP and that’s exactly what I did.

“Eye accessing cues” although only a very small part of the whole NLP picture is probably one of the easiest patterns in human behaviour to notice.

The next time you find yourself involved a conversation with someone at work simply notice that throughout the discussion they will be moving there eyes up and down, side to side and back centre towards you.

There is no “correct” movement pattern to notice, just simply notice that their eyes are moving.

You could even notice yourself doing it…

It is a very natural process and each and every human being does it. Albeit some people have more exaggerated movements than others, but without exception everyone does it.

BUT HOW DOES IT WORK?

Simply put, imagine that your brain has sorted out all the information you have into various filing cabinets inside your head. For the vast majority of people it has two filing cabinets for all the information it has stored as pictures or movies – remember now the best vacation you’ve ever had.

It has two filing cabinets for all the information it has stored as audio files….like a telephone conversation you had yesterday,

It has a filing cabinet for all of the things that you know without a doubt and that you keep closest to you….your “down right knowing” is how I like to call it, and then there’s a place where you keep all the stuff that is “unfinished business”, like an argument you had that isn’t resolved.

These filing cabinets in turn are placed up and to the left and the right for the pictures (visual files), one cabinet for each year (left and right side) and then the final two are placed looking down to your right and looking down to your left.

For the visual information one cabinet is reserved for things it remembers. The other side for creativity….it isn’t pulling the information from memory so some creativity is involved. Imagining a dream home would be pulled out of that area, unless the person had previously created a very clear and precise picture of the dream home, then they would pull it from the remembered side or possibly a little from both sides.

The same goes for the auditory files….one side for remembered conversations and the other when we are piecing it together or sorting it out.

BUT WHICH SIDE IS WHICH HOW DO I KNOW WHEN THEY ARE LYING JACKEY?

Great question but I’m not going to answer it, not today at least.

It’s going to take just a little more than a few words to explain that part thoroughly, so for now go out and have some fun noticing that when people talk to you their eyes move!

Watch their eyes go up and down side to side, and notice yourself doing the same thing. Don’t be surprised if you find yourself chuckling out loud because this is very cool stuff!

Are there things that we do, or say that we believe are going to get us the love we want?

Are there things that others say or do that somehow we interpret to mean they love us?

Is it different for everyone?

YES, YES, YES and YES!

Last year during NLP training, Joseph and I were having a chat…

Actually if I remember correctly I was sharing with him some personal heartache.

Although the exact details of our conversation elude me just now, I am quite clear at the point when Joseph asked me simply

“How do you know when someone loves you?”

There was no hesitation on my part “Well they show me”

“How do they show you?” He asked

“Well mostly they do things for me without me having to ask. They don’t have to be big things, but they do things none the less. Sometimes they just have to offer, but offering to do things and doing things that I don’t expect is how I know that people love me.”

Aha! my “love” strategy…

It turns out that when I love someone, and want to show them that I love them I do things for them. I cook for them, I clean for them all kinds of things.

Sometimes I buy them food or gifts…I just do stuff

Turns out for Joseph, he could care less if people do things or offer to do things for him, . His love strategy is….well that’s actually not for me to share lol!

Ok I’ll tell you. For Joseph he needs to hear it! That’s right good old fashion “tell me you love me baby!”

Wouldn’t it be just amazing if you could figure out exactly what it is that people need for them to feel loved?

Wouldn’t it be amazing for you to know what you need to feel loved?

Not many people have given much thought as to how they know others love them, perhaps even more importantly when was the last time you thought about what you need to feel truly loved.

Whether you are aware of it or not, you need to be shown love in a certain way.

You have a strategy that gets you love, as a matter of fact you have a strategy that gets you up in the morning out of bed, a strategy for making decisions and on and on.

For the most part our strategies are invisible to us…

And there are times therefore that we feel unloved or somehow have failed to show the one we love that we love them “ you don’t love me anymore”.

Just take a moment and begin to imagine what it might be like if you could actually recognize the exact way, possibly even words your loved ones needed to hear that would help them to feel fulfilled to feel better?

I have seen men running around buying flowers, chocolates, jewelry, you name it , showering their loved one with gifts all in vain.

I’ve heard women tell me straight up “ oh yeah he buys me stuff all the time he thinks he can buy my love, but never once has he ___________.”

What I love most about having NLP training is there is absolutely no guess work.

I don’t have to figure it out because the answers are always right there in the person that’s having the problem. They tell you everything that’s going on inside them and what they need to feel better.

It’s not always instant but especially for those like myself and Joseph that have taken the training in NLP, but it’s super fast.

Most of the time we can get through our own stuff all on our own…

and for the times we can’t usually just a few reframes and a well placed question does the trick. Again the reframing and questions aren’t guess work, once you’ve learned NLP you’ll know which questions to ask and how to reframe.

That particular day I was feeling really bad, unloved and unappreciated.

Joseph asked me some questions which clearly brought to light how I perceive that someone is loving me and then asked quite simply:

“Is it possible that they do love you even though they don’t do those things? “

“Is it possible that the way they show love is different than how you do?”

With that I was free to allow myself to look at other things that have happened between myself and “them” and recognize that it was possible that they did love me, but they showed it in different ways.

If it was important for me to be “shown” love then I needed to tell them that because frankly it’s highly possible they had never considered that’s what I needed.

It was possible like Joseph, a simple “I love you” does the trick for them.

What’s your love strategy again?

I said to Fredrik the other day   “I’m ready for spring, bring it on!”

“Tell me about it”  he responded “It’s been a long cold, winter and we’ve had way more snow than most other years, enough is enough.”

Later that day I was out with one of my favourite girlfriends…

I started our conversation “ I sure am ready for spring “   (It’s always nice to get the weather talk out of the way lol)

“yeah true that”  she replied.

“ Fred says we’ve had an exceptionally cold winter and way more snow that most years”

“Not a chance” she argued

“ We’ve hardly had any snow, it’s been long, but not even that cold, and definitely not that much snow”

Hmmm…

I pondered for a moment and concluded that if my friend and Fredrik were in the room together, right now they probably would be getting into some sort of debate about whose perception of weather was “right”.

People will do almost anything to protect their  “perception” of reality.

Myself included,  I too will hold onto what I believe and savour the glorious experience of what I am perceiving.

Unless of course what I’m  perceiving is poop. If it’s poop I change, I change my reality so when I experience poop it’s for as little time as possible.

“How can you change reality?”  Good question!

I wish I could lock up the answer for you right here in 20 words or less.  It’s just not that quick a fix, but it is absolutely easy to do…once you’ve got the right tool.

Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) is the single most powerful personal development resource/tool I’ve learned  yet. With it I was able to completely change my life.

The impossible became possible and the unlikely a reality.

Happiness is always a decision I get to make any time I like. That’s pretty profound considering I was manic depressive and a hurricane of anger at least some of the time.

For anyone out there that has made helping others live happier more fulfilling lives, their work, NLP is an absolute God send.

With NLP there is no more guessing and trying to figure out what’s wrong with people.

That’s because there is nothing wrong with people. What they’re doing that isn’t working  anymore, was working at some point. They’ve come to you because they’re ready to change their reality.

NLP when taught by a skillful, experience and certified NLP trainer is virtually effortless to learn, and a lot of fun.

You will learn that guess work with others is not only completely unnecessary it’s highly frowned upon. You will learn to recognize the structure of what is getting in their way whether it’s your clients, children, spouse, or yourself.

It’s kind of like recognizing the weeds in your garden. Once you spot them you take them out and the rest of your garden is free to flourish.

I leave one week between visits for a same client…and rarely do I need to see someone for more than 3 visits.

Most often by the time the client comes in for their 2nd visit so much has changed there’s not more required from me, unless they want to work on something else.

NLP Training is an absolutely must have resource for anyone dedicated to personal development and helping others lead happier more fulfilling lives.

Here’s another example of conflicting realities…

So I’m talking to Joseph the other day and this fellow’s name Brad King, comes up.

“Yeah you weren’t too impressed with him”  Joseph says

“what do you mean?”  I said  “I’ve read his book and his info seems good”

“No no I mean when you met him”

“I met him?” I asked somewhat stunned

“Yeaaaah, here in Edmonton, we went to hear him speak and then had a chat with him afterward”

“What the…I met Brad King?  I saw him speak in Edmonton? lol…when where?”

“Oh Jackey, yes you and I went to the ……..”  he continued with an astounding amount of details.  I think he even told me what he ate for dinner that night!

I thought about this conversation with Joseph off and on for some time.

I’ve now decided it isn’t worth thinking about anymore. lol!

Clearly this is just another example of just how real someones perception, someone’s memory, someone’s realty is, at least to them.

In my perceived memory I arranged for Joseph to go and listen to Brad Kind, because we got hooked up by someone that thought it was a good idea that we meet and I don’t live in Alberta so Joseph went.

In Joseph’s mind he and I went together and met Brad King and I wasn’t impressed by him.

Who’s right?…both of us and as long as it isn’t causing any problems in our lives we’re keeping our perceptions/our story as is.

But I assure you that if it does start to cause some problems for us (some poop).

I have the skills to change not only my memory but to facilitate a more harmonious shared reality with Joseph.

In fact I can do this with anyone, anywhere,  anytime and don’t need to get caught up in arguments about who’s right and who’s wrong.

It’s also useful working with clients when their perception of reality may be causing them some grief.

These are very good skills to have!

Let’s face it … people don’t always perceive “reality” the same way and you can either be “right” or you can have peaceful, loving and supportive relationships with clients, your family and friends.

Hats off to perception!

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